In Part I of this article, we discussed the importance of active listening, and how it is important for smooth and effective meetings. In the process, we touched on the topic of reflective listening. Reflective listening is a valuable means of ensuring that we have properly understood the speakers thoughts and feelings. Perhaps more importantly, it is also a great way to make that person feel that he has been listened to and appreciated.

How does reflective listening work? Its really quite simple. Reflective listening means listening carefully to what the speaker has to say, and then echoing that persons ideas back to him, rephrased in your own words. For example, if a colleague presents a marketing idea at a meeting, you can reflect this idea back to him by saying, Let me see if Ive understood you correctly. Youre proposing that we do the following and then attempt to summarize his plan. Or, if a coworker expresses some reservations about a proposal, you could respond by asking, So, if I understand your concerns, youre saying that and then restate his ideas as best you can.

So what does this accomplish? First and foremost, it helps you verify that youve properly understood what the other speaker said. Unfortunately, many people dont understand how important this is. But of course I understood! they would say. Im a good listener! What they fail to grasp is that good listeners dont simply assume that their understanding is accurate and complete. Quite the contrary; an effective listener will seek to verify this whenever possible.

Second, it gives the speaker an opportunity to clarify points that he may have stated clumsily or inaccurately. Whether we like it or not, some people simply arent very good at communicating their ideas the first time around. Some people tend to ramble, for example. Others may neglect to mention some crucial points, especially when theyre speaking in an off-the-cuff manner. Still others may state all the necessary information, but without giving proper emphasis to all their nuances of meaning. By reflecting what weve understood back to them, we can give them opportunities to restate their ideas more accurately.

Third and perhaps most importantly it helps build morale by affirming the other persons worth. By reflecting the speakers words back to him, we demonstrate that we care about what that person has to say. This allows the other person to voice his grievances or ideas, and to feel appreciated in the process. Even if we reject that persons ideas completely, he can at least feel appreciated in the process.

Of course, you dont want to reflect someones words back every time that person speaks. That would be overkill, and it can sound tremendously insincere. It is enough to simply summarize that persons ideas now and then, preferably when we think we have a reasonably clear overview of what he has to say.

Reflective listening techniques take very little effort to master, especially if youre the type of person who genuinely does care about others. They are an easy yet powerful way to enhance communication, and they can build stronger work relationships in the process.