Lets get one thing straight right now before we proceed any further: if you want to play poker online the way the pros do it, you need to get really hip when it comes to poker bonuses.

Sure, wed all like to think we know the skinny on free poker bonuses. Thats a little fairy tale we tell ourselves in the deep dark caverns of night to keep the demons of doubt and self-loathing at bay. But the truth is, most of us are basically clueless when it comes to the ins and outs of the kind of poker bonuses currently available online.

The first step toward recovery is to simply admit that you are in totally over your head... adrift in a menacing sea without so much as a piece of driftwood to cling to... up a certain creek without the benefit of a paddle. Its OK to make this admission. You are among friends, or at least people who would not actively categorize themselves as enemies.

(A brief note to all you poker studs and stud-ettes out there who already know everything there is to know about the mysterious world of poker bonuses: read on... you might be surprised at what you can learn.)

The first thing you need to know is that there are two major categories of poker bonuses: the signup bonus and the loyalty bonus. These are as different as night and day, and it behooves you to learn as much as you can about both of them. So what follows is an introduction:

Signup Bonuses

Many online casinos offer signup bonuses to new players who are just joining the site for the first time. These bonuses normally match a percentage of the player's deposit with a dollar maximum, and almost all online casino signup bonuses require a minimum amount of wagering before allowing a payout. Game play at specific casino games might be excluded from the wagering requirement calculation, so read the requirements carefully.

Loyalty Bonuses

Now we arrive at the second major kind of poker bonus. A different animal entirely, it applies not to newbies but to folks who have already established themselves as reliable customers at any given website. Once youve been a member for a certain period of time (and have spent a certain amount of dollars) you can expect to be offered some kind of loyalty bonus. Think of it as being a totally deserved plus for being so reliable.

So now you have a handle on the two most predominant kinds of poker bonuses available online. There, doesnt it feel good to learn some new valuable material? Its just like your teachers and parents used to say: education is fun. Dont you feel bad for not believing them? Call your mom right now and apologize. Come on, you know its the right thing to do.