Are you a worrier? Do you frequently spend time and energy worrying about your finances, your children, your career, world politics? Worry can be a highly useful, brilliantly engineered cue to action or a useless and destructive energy drain. The challenge is to decide which it is, on a case-by-case basis, and manage yourself accordingly.

Here is a quick and dirty, but highly effective way to manage your worrying habit.

1. Learn to recognize when you are worrying.

This takes practice. You may not recognize yourself worrying until youve been at a particular worry for days or weeks. But whether you catch yourself in the first minute or the first month, the most important step is recognizing the pattern. You can develop your witness over time and become more proficient in noticing when you are worrying.

2. Determine if something needs to be done.

Ask yourself, Is the worry a cue to action?

• For example, if you are worried that your toddler will get lead paint poisoning from the lead paint on your windows, there is indeed something that needs to be done. You need to get the lead paint removed from your windows. And keep your child well supervised in the meantime.

• If you dont know whether or not something needs to be done, find out. You need to get more information THATs what needs to happen.

3. If something needs to be done, get it done as soon as possible.

Often just deciding to take the action can loosen worrys grip on you. But it's critical that you follow through take that action as soon as it is feasible.

• Call the state agency that deals with lead paint removal and get the names of contractors who do that kind of work. Get moving with hiring and scheduling a contractor. Call your pediatrician and get advice about how to protect your child during the removal process and follow up on every detail.

4. If nothing needs to be done, release the worry.

• If the lead paint removal is scheduled, your child is adequately supervised, and youre following all of the pediatricians instructions, there is nothing more to be done. Your job in this case is to re-focus your attention elsewhere.

For most people, relinquishing the worry is the hardest part. If you generally let worry run unchecked, you know that its a very greedy energy that will take as much of your attention as you let it. It will reduce your effectiveness and productivity. Some serious boundary setting with yourself is required here.

Experiment with the following strategy. In your mind, respond to the worry with something like this: "Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your concern (this is important). But there is nothing more to be done right now, so Im going to stop thinking about this. Then get yourself to focus on something else find something else compelling and engaging to think about. You might line up some contenders in advance. Just about anything that works for you will do.

Sooner or later, the worry will return. Repeat steps 1 through 4 as needed. This is an iterative process. Hang in there!

Here is a short list of some of the worries that my clients have learned to deal with more effectively:

• Personal finances. My client regularly pictured herself as a bag lady, penniless and homeless, despite her current (and past) circumstances, which were nothing of the sort. The action that was called for was to develop a strong and detailed financial plan with an expert.

• Global warming. My client, a self-proclaimed tree-hugger and dirt worshipper was sick at heart and frequently anxious about global warming. The action called for was to get involved with conservation and political action organizations.

• Career. For one of my clients who worried she was failing in her current job, the solution was to identify where she needed to improve her performance, and to get training in that arena. Another career-anxious client determined there was no action required. She learned to respond to the angst by listing for herself the ways she was effective in her work; this activity served to change her state of mind.

Do you need help figuring out whether a worry merits action or how to disarm a stubborn worry-habit? Invest in yourself and get the help you need. Coaching can make a difference.

Copyright 2005, Sharon Teitelbaum.