How many times do you get hurt in a day by peoples behaviour, actions and your own failure? Since the time you wake up till you sleep how many times do you think to get away from such circumstances? How much time do you waste in pondering over such people? It is indescribable. Yes, it is the tendency of few to hurt others. We often feel-why do they hurt others and what right do they have to do so?

People hurt others mainly because they do not respect and value others and their feelings. They do not care for others. They hurt out of jealousy, anger, selfishness and many other unknown reasons. It is mostly out of their habit because they hardly care for others, their intention and reaction. So, how to deal with such people?

People react for every situation involving hurt. This reaction involves energy consumption. Especially negative reaction consumes lots and lots of energy which is not realized by you. Instead of putting such energy in a negative situation, it better be diverted towards some positive goal. So in order to follow this- Firstly, do not react. Every time you face it, think- Let me not react to his action or speech. What a waste of energy by reacting?

How can you stop reacting? If he is a person who doesnt hurt you frequently, then try to understand his situation which is leading him to hurt you. It might be that he or she is in a bad mood; there might be some unending personal issue. Give him some time to think what he said and then pacify him later if possible as his well wisher.

Sometimes it might be the case that few people hurt you for no reason. It is their nature and habit to hurt. Their only wish is to provoke you and experience happiness in your negative reaction. At such times, stop reacting. Do not waste your energy. When some one hurts you, you unknowingly put in lots of your energy and time. For example, you think a lot about his action. In turn, you spend all your time in thinking about it as to what caused that person to hurt you and if you made any mistake. Your mind goes off. Your heart becomes heavy with sorrow. After all this, if you react negatively, you will receive answer with the same effect of negativity which creates the environment of enmity and hatred. So why bother of all these? Just think of the divine at that difficult moment and calm down gradually. Think that it is the perishable body which is experiencing all this hurt but not the soul which is eternal and imperishable.

Ego is the root cause of reaction. Trying not to let ego come in between is like trying to control the wavering wind. It is like trying to wrap the sky with a cloth. It is like trying to measure the ocean with a small cup. Our lives are so equipped with this dangerous weapon called EGO. It is not easy to let go of it. But still it is our inbound responsibility to get rid of it how ever difficult it might be. With the divine blessing and your self-control, you can make anything possible. Remember, the word IMPOSSIBLE exists in the dictionary of the timid. So when you are hurt by others negative talk, the only cause for our reaction is EGO. So why not think you are grounding that ego by keeping away from reacting? That is the best way to calm down under provoking situations. Controlling ego and being calm doesnt mean you are a coward or unskilled. It only means you are growing higher in your spiritual life.

So from now on, if any one hurts you, first do not conclude he is bad or unworthy. Give a minute to let your mind think wisely if he is not in a good mood. If it is his habit to hurt people, ignore his talk but not him. When you ignore their behaviour, they do not repeat it. But never waste your energy by reacting. You do not realize but every thought, action and word consumes energy which could have been directed and diverted towards a positive goal.

It is not impractical to follow all this. When ever I am hurt, I end up doing the above. In fact, it gives me peace and self-satisfaction that I am able to control my ego. Once such a situation led me to write the below prayer and I read it with conviction when ever I am in such situation. So I thought you should also benefit from my experience. Reading this prayer worked wonders for me. Good luck.

Dear Lord, Please fill my little self with bliss and soul with serenity
Let no negative force be able to destroy my inner peace
Let me not react to any actions of hurt
If I am hurt, it means I have ego and let it be destroyed
May they realize what they have done is not wise
May I have a heart to forgive the one who in turn helped me grow
Let me not hurt them in order to take revenge
For, you live in them too. So for this reason,
Bless those souls and mine too for, I am also a human being.

May the whole world do away with enmity and rest in peace.
-Sharmila Sanka