At it's most fundamental, your life is what happens to you between your birth and your death.

They say "life is what you make it", but most of us feel like victims in our lives, rather than the architects of them. Accepting responsibility for our own lives is a very difficult but absolutely essential first step in learning to take control our lives. Uncontrollable events certainly can sweep us away now and then, and of course the final event will sweep us all away at some point. But between now and then, most of what happens in our lives - our careers, our progress towards our dreams, our relationships, our health, our happiness, our spiritual growth - are all down to us.

The Tyranny of Freedom

This should sound great - but for most of us it's going to sound bleak.

Because we know all that stuff - in theory, at least. Yet that isn't the way our real lives are unfolding for us. We may be in the wrong job, or the wrong career. We may live in a house we hate, in a city we hate, on a continent with the wrong climate. We may drive the wrong car, live with the wrong partner, live under the wrong haircut, and in the wrong shaped body. AND IT'S ALL WEARING A BIT THIN!

The fact is that most of us exert poor control over the events in our lives. We complain, but we don't seem able to grab the wheel and to steer ourselves in new directions.

As we grow older, we see the dreams fade. Some will smile as they look back at the simple optimism and ideals of our youth. Others will be a whole lot less philosophical about our decline.

The fact is that society doesn't train us for the practicalities of being successful (however we define that term). We're taught that thinking of our own wants is selfish. We shoulder big jobs and family responsibilities which could well keep us tied up for a few decades. Somewhere along that road, we lose the plot - we're driven by events we set in train - the mortgage, the kids, the job - and it's tough to re-assert control.

Well, the good news is - all of this is exactly what your Life Coach is here to help you with.

A Compass, a Carrot and a Friend

Life Coaching is quite new - emerging in the 1990s in America. Life has never been more complicated, and we all want more from our lives. Life Coaching is an idea whose time as come.

A life coach is a professionally qualified person. You pay your coach to help you move towards a better life. Exactly what that means is up to you. You may come to your coach with very specific ideas about what you want to change, or you may bring along a vague, woolly feeling that life should be better. Your coach will have special tools and exercises which will help you to assess the various facets of your life.

Perhaps you want to be writing a book, getting a better job, doing better in the job you have, restoring a better balance between work and play, worrying less - being happier, earning more money, gaining a promotion, starting your own business, finding a new career, solving financial worries, building a better relationship, finding a new relationship, building a better body - smaller, larger, stronger, moving away from destructive habits to become more healthy, making new friends and build a stunning social life, taking up new hobbies, moving house, improving the house you have, etc.

When you have your focus, the real work begins.

Usually, you spend time with your coach on the telephone. Sessions are around 45 minutes, and they take place perhaps once a week. A coaching relationship will generally last a minimum of four sessions, but real breakthrough often happens around session six. There is no maximum duration, and many successful coaching relationships will span years.

Your coach will work with you to clarify the situation and your goals. Usually, you'll pick a single major goal and work on that with your coach.

Together, you will clearly refine your goal, and make a detailed plan to move you closer to that goal. Each week you will agree an action plan with your coach, and between sessions, you will complete the action plan.

Inevitably, problems will arise and be addressed by you and your coach together. (This is why coaching books can never be as good as the real thing). Changes in the plan will be made. Your coach is trained to listen very carefully to what you say; to find your self-limiting beliefs and work with you on their removal. Your coach's experience, training and external perspective on your life are an extremely valuable asset to you - this is the magic of life coaching. Your coach can untangle your confusion, boost your confidence, build your motivation and your stamina, and keep you actively focused on meeting your goals.

Together, you will find a way through to success.